Getting Candid with Candide

Yesterday I was debating what I should blog about and whether or not I should even blog. A friend of mine was giving me different ideas, and I liked them all, but I just wasn't feeling the whole blogging thing. I just finished reading Candide, by Voltaire, and so I thought it would be an opportune time to just be candid. So here you go, this is me being completely candid and writing about whatever comes to my mind. Enjoy!

I didn't like Candide as much as I thought I did when I read it in high school. Back then, I remember Candide being a legitimately funny, sarcastic book. I never thought people born before 1900 could be funny. Turns out they could be. Well fast forward 4 years, and I'm just don't think it's as funny anymore. It is super tongue-in-cheek and sarcastic, which I usually laugh at, but the themes they make jokes about just aren't as funny. Basically this guy named Candide goes through life thinking everything is for the best, but continually finds himself in terrible situations, and hears stories of people in horrible situations. Seriously, some of the stories are gruesome and Voltaire just makes a joke about it. As I was reading Candide and realizing this lack of laughter from the "humor," I remembered a recent Stuff Christians Like blog. It was called "Suddenly realizing you're more conservative than you used to be."

That is totally me. I used to laugh at everything, at anyone's expense, but now I actually get convicted about what is appropriate funny and what's not. For instance, I've seen Blazing Saddles legitimately 20 times, and can quote nearly the entire movie. I used to say it was my favorite movie, but I watched it recently and was offended and disgusted by it. It kind of made me sad that my favorite movie was no longer very funny (don't get me wrong, there are still funny parts that are appropriate enough) but I was also glad that God was convicting me and my mind was responding. It's easy to feel like you are constantly facing an uphill battle with no end in sight, so it's great when you notice changes. They are just another one of God's many blessings.

I made one of my summer goals to purify my movie and music choices, and apparently God is doing that in my life. I'm stoked that it's happening, but now I just need to learn how to interact in those regards with people who don't have the same views with me on "inappropriate" media. It'll be a challenge, but that's why I rely on God and not my own strength. My own strength would get really frustrated and judge them probably.

So all in all, I guess I have to say I was disappointed with Candide and would no longer recommend it to people. That's rare for me. Keep in mind that if I ever don't recommend a book to you, it's probably a really terrible book. But, I did like the cover of the book; it was covered in comics.

On Tuesday and Wednesday I was at action sports conferences and trade shows, and it wiped me out, both physically and spiritually. I had been on a spiritual high the last couple weeks, learning a ton about God and watching friends experience the same thing. Then the conferences hit, and I got slammed. The action sports world is all about drinking, smoking, cussing, and objectifying women. I think I had forgotten about the real world that's all around us when I was in my little happy Christian bubble. Well that bubble popped real quick on Tuesday, and I felt like I was out to dry.

the last 2 days I felt so distant from God, and it was bumming me out. I was dry and not connecting with God at all. This was why I didn't want to blog, why I didn't want to read Case for Christ (my next book I'm reading), Why I just wanted to sit around.

Fortunately, God is awesome and is always by our side, even if we don't think He is. Everything I DID look at was pointing me straight back to Him. Friends were writing about brokenness in blogs, my bible reading was about being broken, every blog I read was about being broken, tweets about being broken, it was ridiculous. How could I be so oblivious to all of it?

That's when it hit me. That's when I remembered that God is always by my side, that He loves me unconditionally, that He wants what's best for me, and that He will never leave me or forsake me. Even if I think I'm in a complete desert with God, He's actually right next to me.

I know that even though I recognize that now, and it has pulled me out of that dry spell, I will probably forget it quickly if I don't dwell on the Lord all the time.

In this time of spiritual dryness, God was also bringing up sins in my life that I need to work out, especially with my pride and selfishness. I was disgusted with myself more than I was with the junk around me at the action sports trade show. I know I've been saying this a lot lately, but if you ask God to do a work in you, don't be surprised when he does, and don't be surprised if it hurts. Your sinful nature doesn't want to die, and will put up a fight. Turn to God, and He'll get you through it.

Today I started following a CS Lewis daily quotes twitter and got really excited (told you this would be a random blog).

Also, these last few days made my post college life more and less confusing. It is less confusing because I really don't see myself as a missionary (we're all called to be missionaries, in whatever field we choose) in the action sports industry, at least the part of the industry I saw this summer. It's more confusing though because God has given me a passion for surfing and snowboarding and a skill in video editing, but I don't see how they can be used to glorify Him with me as a missionary there. Alas, that is why I'm not worrying about post-World Race until after I go on the World Race. If you don't know what it is, check it out here and talk to me about it, please! I love talking about the race and the awesome things that happen on it.

I'm going to Texas in 2 days and I can't wait. I've heard Austin is a beautiful city, so I'm looking forward to that. What I'm not looking forward to is the 21+ hour car ride...

I will be seeing a lot of this come Saturday...

Welp, I think that's everything I want to talk about right now. That was me getting candid with Candide, among other things.