Fresh Wind

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine told me I HAD to read Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala, and I am so grateful that I took her advice and read it. This book is super convicting, and not in a typical "here are three steps to improve your walk" christian book. This book focuses on one thing: prayer.

It's so simple, yet how many of us truly believe in the power of prayer and give up everything to God? I know I'm terrible at that. I feel like so much of my life right now I can take care of myself. I know how to do homework, go to Monday night dinner, and plan cru. While I may know how to do it, it won't be blessed the way God intends it to be.

I'll be honest, I'm really bad at making prayer a priority in my life. Thankfully this book was a good reminder of that and helped me realize just how much prayer matters. This is what Jim said to his faltering church one Sunday and hasn't looked back since:

From this day on, the prayer meeting will be the barometer of our church. What happens on Tuesday night will be the gauge by which we will judge success or failure because that will be the measure by which God blesses us.

Wow. That statement is so simple yet so profound. I'm not going to go anywhere just guessing where God is taking me and hoping for the best. I need to spend more time with the Lord in prayer.

I feel like sometimes I forget just how powerful prayer is and how much God blesses that. I want to lift up more of my life and the things I'm involved with to the Lord.

I've been quick to push out the Spirit moving in order to keep things orderly and efficient. I need to let God take the reins and see what He does. It'll probably be a lot better than whatever I plan.

Keep me accountable to these things please. Plus if we all make a culture of prayer I'm pretty confident God would start doing some awesome things here.

Needless to say, there is WAY more in this book than what I've talked about right here. I highly encourage you all to read it sometime. Expect to be challenged though. It's great.

Changing Seasons

The last few days in Los Angeles have been cold. And not an LA-72-degrees-and-cloudy cold. It has been straight up brisk. Highs have been the in 60s and lows in the 40s. This is not what I expect in Los Angeles. If I wanted sunny and "super cold" (as defined by southern Californians), I would've gone to Iowa or Michigan or some other Big Ten school. But I didn't; I went to the University of Southern California, otherwise known as the best school ever.

Nevertheless, this frigid weather got me thinking about seasons, and not just weather seasons, but spiritual seasons as well. God doesn't always coincide worldly seasons with my spiritual ones, but this time I think He did.

Over the summer, I was on a spiritual high. I had plenty of time to spend with the Lord and expand my spiritual knowledge. In addition, I was having a bunch of deep spiritual conversations with friends even though I was living in good ole' Fallbrook. When I got back to school, I thought this trend would continue...I think I forgot how busy I am during the school year, and so my God time began getting neglected. This, compounded with the transition into senior year, put me into a spiritual funk; a dry season if you will.

Dry seasons with God are never fun. You know (and are told) that God is always beside you and is working for your good, but you don't see it. I felt like I wasn't growing spiritually, and I definitely wasn't spending time with God because I lacked desire and motivation. I was getting frustrated easily, and became completely cynical about everything. If you had a good idea, I could probably give you 10 reasons why it was a bad idea and would fail. Yeah, not a good time for me.

I was so ready to get out of it, and so I was looking to the World Race as my escape. I was semi-regretting not applying for the January race so I could just graduate in December. But alas, God had bigger and better plans for me.

Last week, three things occurred.

1) The August race was revealed.

2) The weather got colder.

3) I actually had some free time.

God was ready to bring me out of my dry season. I got re-excited about the July race and the adventures God has in store for me in my future. I started spending more time with the Lord, and lo and behold, my attitude started getting better. Finally, with my extended free time, I was able to start reading again and just having time to process more.

God is so good. Despite me feeling like He was nowhere near me, He was definitely right there. It was my pride and selfishness that kept me from looking to Him. It's easy to be stoked on life when God is continually rocking you, but when you feel like He isn't around, you must keep speaking truth into your heart and the hearts of those around you. Don't let the devil convince you otherwise.

Lord, thank You for bringing me out of the dry season and into this new season of spiritual growth. You are so good to me, it is unfathomable. You are bigger and better than any dry season or trial that I could every face. Take my pride away from me, and mold my attitude. Thank you for always being with me, even if I'm not seeking You. In Jesus name, Amen

In other news, I'm reading a book called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire that is fantastic and really making me rethink the way I live my last semester here. Except a blog about it soon. Also, I submitted my world race application today so be expecting A LOT more blogs about that soon. Basically God is stirring in me again, and I want to share it with all of you.

I'll end with a question. What is God showing/teaching/growing you in your life right now? Are you going through a dry season or growing season?

Be Still

Be still and know that I am God

-Psalm 46:10

I have spent the last couple of months-actually nearly my entire life-doing; feeling like I have to be doing something. Thinking that there is something I need to do in order to get closer to God.

And there is something...Be still. That's it.

Lord, teach me to be still before you. I can't seem to stop going, but I want to be still with You. Please calm my life in such a way that I can listen to You. Amen

Be still and know that I am God

Stress Relief

It's amazing how even though I've heard it, known it, and even blogged about it, I still am fickle in my walk with the Lord and sometimes don't rely on Him. In the midst of everything I have to do on a daily basis, I forget to turn to God and say " I take your yoke." Last week, as you know, I went on Fall Retreat. It was a culmination of an extremely busy first 4 weeks, and so I was hoping that last week would be calmer and I could get back into the swing of things. But alas, I was still busy, still sick, and starting to feel burnt out. I even planned a long quiet time on Saturday to just spend time with the Lord. It was a great time, but come Monday when life got busy again, I was starting to get stressed out and burned out on my commitments. I just wanted to get away from everything for a while.

It wasn't until Tuesday night when I had 45 minutes to myself when I sat down with the Lord and said "I can't do it anymore. I need you. I want to be close to you again." And seriously, it was like God said "Finally. Now get some rest." and immediately I started feeling refreshed. Touché God. You are always there, waiting for us to come to You.

I need to stop forgetting about God's love and desire for me.

I pulled out My Utmost for His Highest and read the day's devotional. It was called "The 'Go' of unconditional identification" and the verse was Mark 10:21.

Jesus . . . said to him, ’One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor . . . and come, take up the cross, and follow Me’

Chambers says "Jesus’ primary consideration is my absolute annihilation of my right to myself and my identification with Him, which means having a relationship with Him in which there are no other relationships." (September 28th)

I need to give up everything to the Lord. Nothing I do is of myself. It is all His. I must stop trying to do things on my own and let Him take over. As Carrie Underwood said it well, "Jesus, take the wheel." I desire oneness with Him. All of my "busyness" must be given up to Him. I still have my commitments, but when they are on the Lord's shoulders and not my own, I won't be stressed, and I won't get burned out. Why do I always forget this again? Oh right, because I haven't been made perfect yet. Jesus, can you come back soon?

The other thing is that I started rereading The Pursuit of God with some guys in AGO, and it was a great reminder of how I need to desire God. I mean, once you start desiring Him, the passion just increases. The prayer at the end of chapter one is fantastic (like always), and it's a prayer asking for a desire to desire God. It has been a good prayer for me this week. I don't need to pursue God and Cru, or God and AGO, or God and my friends. I just need God. That's the only thing that matters. I need to follow hard after him.

Fall Retreat

Last weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to go to CRU fall retreat. It was an absolutely great weekend full of worship, sermons, outdoors, and of course, signs. I had the privilege of planning the weekend with Casey Hogue, and had a great time doing that, although that meant the weekend was a little hectic for us. In spite of not getting a ton of relaxation, sleep, or quiet time, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. In fact, I learned a good deal this weekend.

Adam Penning, the Cru director from University of Wisconsin, joined us for the weekend as our speaker. His theme was "the Center," and he gave great talks on attributes of Jesus. First, he went through the story of Mephibosheth and how David showed him hessed, loyal love. This love is the same kind of love that God has for us. He will always love us, no matter what we do.

On Saturday, Adam discussed the grandeur of God and the intimacy of God. God is bigger than anything we could every imagine. Jesus even claims his deity in John 8:58.

Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was born, I AM."

On the other hand, as Adam discussed Saturday night, Jesus is more personal than anything else we could imagine. He is one who sympathizes with us and one who we can follow for a right path.

Overall, It was a great set of talks. It was really nice hearing different attributes of God and how we can fit into His love. I was talking to a friend earlier this week about how we could hear these talks every week just to be reminded of how great God is. I definitely need that. It's so easy to forget the weight of the gospel when I'm more worried about studying for a quiz or sitting through a Monday night dinner. The gospel is the only thing that matters, and I don't live like that.

This brings me to Sunday morning of fall retreat. Adam talked about living sold out for Christ, whether in the ministry or in the workplace. There is no point in storing up treasures here on earth. All of that is not going to matter. What is going to matter is what Jesus says to us when we approach his throne and he says "My good and faithful servant" or "You fool! What were you doing with the gifts I gave you?" I know I don't want to hear God call me a fool. I want use the gifts God has given me. This definitely convicted me.

For those of you who don't know, I can graduate in December if I want to. I'll be done with my major requirements but I want to stick around and experience my entire senior year. That's great and all, but there is also this thing called the World Race that has a trip leaving in January with an awesome set of countries. Now I'm torn as to whether or not I want to stay at USC for an extra semester or leave for the World Race in January. On one hand, the World Race would be a great challenge but God would do crazy things in my life. On the other hand, sweet things are happening at USC that I would love to be a part of, but if I stay am I using the gifts God has given me?

If you asked me a few weeks ago what I was doing next semester, I would say sticking around USC, but that I really wanted to go on the World Race. However, after experiencing how I can be of use to CRU and AGO this last month, I feel more called to stay at USC for an extra semester and pour into the community here. These last few weeks have totally tired me out, but I have been loving it. So unless God completely changes my mind in the next 3 weeks, I will be sticking around USC in the spring.

That being said, there are two things that I've been thinking about today. First, after this tiring weekend, I have been listening to "Desert Song" by Hillsong. The first two verse and the chorus are so choice:

Verse 1:

This is my prayer in the desert

And all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in the hunger in me

My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved

Of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

Even when I feel dry or stressed out or in the middle of a trial, God is right there and is providing for me. He's not going to leave me, even if He feels a million miles away. And that gives me a reason to sing and bring praise.

Secondly, I read Psalm 62 today in my quiet time, and it is so applicable to my life all the time, but especially right now. It's a good reminder of what I need to put my trust in. The whole chapter is great, but I have been praying about verses 1,2, 11, and 12.

¹ My soul finds rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from him.

² He alone is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

¹¹ One thing God has spoken,

two things have I heard:

that you, O God, are strong,

¹² and that you, O Lord, are loving.

Surely you will reward each person

according to what he has done.

Christian Fast Food

I think as Christians we immediately like things more when we know they have Christian roots. For instance, Veggie Tales is way cooler to sing at 21 years old than Sesame Street. Bruce Almighty was better than Yes Man (or any Jim Carrey movie after Bruce Almighty for that matter). Matt Barkley is a much better quarterback than other USC quarterbacks, including Heisman trophy winners. The list can go on, but I want to bring up a specific category that has a special place in the hearts of Americans: fast food.

There are two Christian fast food chains that Christians hold in higher esteem than any other fast food chain on the planet. One was founded in Southern California in 1948 and is famous for its burgers. The other created the first chicken sandwich in 1964 in Atlanta. Of course you know what these two restaurants are. In-N-Out and Chick-Fil -A.

I had the pleasure of going to In-N-Out today after church with several of my friends today and ordered quite possibly the best order you can make: double double no onions, fries, and a strawberry shake. I'm pretty sure this meal confirms that In-N-Out is Christian because God wanted to bless us with such a delicious meal. If you couldn't tell, I love In-N-Out, as do many people. I think if there was a survey that asked people what they wanted most upon returning to Southern California after an extended leave (or a weekend roadtrip), 90% would say In-N-Out first, 6% would say family, and 4% would choose sleeping in their own bed.

Needless to say, In-N-Out is a cultural phenomenon. Chick-Fil-A, on the other hand, is a more Christian-acquired taste. That's not to say that non-Christians don't love Chick-Fil-A. Rather, more Christians crave it and will drive ridiculous distances to get a bite of a famous chicken sandwich. And the Christian community respects the fact that Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sundays. Of course it would be great if we could eat that after church on Sundays, but alas, they want their workers to take a sabbath as well.

While both companies are dearly loved by Christians everywhere, I think there has been an increased fandom towards Chick-Fil-A recently. It's good to give Chick-Fil-A more presence on the west coast, but we must not forget to be proud of In-N-Out. I'm going to get a little controversial here, so please don't judge me, but I think Chick-Fil-A has been over-hyped as of late. Yes, I said it. Chick-Fil-A is great, but not as great as everyone makes it out to be. In addition, it is pretty expensive for not a ton of food. When comparing meals from both restaurants, a meal at In-N-Out is cheaper, more filling, and more delectable than a meal from Chick-Fil-A. Call me "old school" or "traditional," but I'm sticking with my In-N-Out. Don't worry, I still support Chick-Fil-A and truly enjoy their meals, but if I had to choose between the two, In-N-Out would take the crown.

Ok, as much as I love being sarcastic, I digress with a more spiritual topic. As most, if not all of you, know, In-N-Out is most overtly Christian with it's packaging strategy. On nearly every piece of food wrapping and cup there is a bible verse. I go to In-N-Out all the time, even with non-Christians, and I never bring up the bible verses. They are making it so easy to share the gospel with people in their restaurants. I could be eating my sandwich and say "Hey look! There is a bible verse on my wrapper. Nahum 1:7. I love that verse." And then you share the gospel. Boom. That is so awesome and so easy. I need to make it an effort to memorize all the possible scriptures that I could encounter during my dining experience so that I can share them with people who are interested.

Since I like you all so much (and hope you want to memorize them as well), here is a list of all the verses and what wrapping they are on. Enjoy!

Burger and cheeseburger wrappers: Revelation 3:20

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear My voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me.

Beverage cups and replicas: John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Milkshake cups: Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all of your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding.

Double-Double wrapper: Nahum 1:7

The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in Him.

Paper water cups (no longer in use) for customers. They are now used for thirsty employees: John 14:6

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

License plate keychain: 1 Corinthians 13:13

And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

This got me thinking. What other things in my life make it really easy to share the gospel that I haven't noticed or haven't made an effort to utilize them? Or how cool could it be to just go to In-N-Out to go sharing? The Lord is so legit in the fact that He blesses us with these easy tools to spread his love. We are called to do it. Basically In-N-Out a great way to get "full" on His Word.

Thoughts from Hawaii

As many of you know, I spent the last week in Hawaii (rough life, I know). It was a great time of relaxation, refreshment, and Trojan victory! I can't believe after being in school only a week, a week off was exactly what I needed. Anyways, while I was there I got to spend time with Grubbs, a great friend of mine who was in my fraternity 2 years ago. We had great times all around, from climbing a waterfall to cave diving in shark's cove.

Shark's Cove. Can I be back in Hawaii now?

On Sunday, though, he took us to his home church, New Hope Diamond Head. It was a great service. Fun, family-like worship, and a great message. In fact, the message really struck a chord with me and I wanted to share it with all of you.

The title of the message was "I don't need help! I know what I'm doing." It was the last in a series about identity theft. I'm just gonna quickly go through my notes:

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20

He made a few points that were really interesting. First, when it says "walks," that really means "does life with." Therefore, those who you do your life with will make you wise, if you surround yourself with wise people. On the other hand, if you are a companion of fools (notice it doesn't say walks with, just companion of) you will suffer harm. Fools bring you down.

His first fill in the blanks for our notes was: The people you do life with impact your future. Your friends determine a big part of the direction and quality of your life.

That changed my perspective on my friendships. I need to surround myself daily with wise friends and not become companions of fools. Now that's not to say you must completely disassociate yourself from non-Christians or anything; instead you must not get too attached and suffer harm because of it. Keep on loving them though, just wanted to clarify that.

His second point is: We need to start building structured relationships with people that want to be biblically wise.

And here is a good verse to go along with it:

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:12

Now I'm not saying that my friendships aren't biblically wise. Quite the contrary; my friends are extremely biblically wise and it is such a huge blessing to me. However, I know I want to structure those relationships a little more so God gets brought up more. I love getting into those deep convos about God, but they don't happen as much as I would like. And that is totally on me. I shouldn't be afraid to bring up God more, especially when I know my friends enjoy those convos just as much as me.

Secondly, when it says encourage in that verse, that doesn't just mean telling each other "great job! Keep up the good work." That is part of it, but it also includes comforting, pushing, calling out, building up, confronting, informing, etc. That word, like most in the bible, is a loaded word that we must pay attention to.

This plays into his final point: We need to avoid shallowness and go deep when building relationships with the wise.

I was talking to a friend last night about how much I love reading Christian books and writing out what I'm learning on blogs, and how it makes me wonder if I want to go to seminary. I'm realizing that I don't need the Internet to share my thoughts; I can just talk to my wise friends. Chances are, I have stuff to share and they will have stuff to share. It's a way better two-way street than blog comments. and It's actual interaction as opposed to typing.

God has blessed me so much with great community, and I'm just sitting here complaining that we don't go deep enough. Maybe God is trying to tell me something? Like maybe I should be more intentional in all my relationships. Definitely. Touche God.

Ecclesiastes

Whenever I thought of Ecclesiastes prior to this last week, I just assumed it was a depressing book of the Bible where Solomon just complained about how everything is meaningless. I thought he regretted everything he did in life and was telling us how nothing matter. Alas, when I read through it this week, my perspective changed about it.

While he still talks about everything being meaningless, I see it with a different mindset. Instead of just trying to depress us, he is trying to say everything apart from God is meaningless. You can have all the wisdom in the world, all the pleasures, all the "stuff," and still feel like you're missing something. There is nothing in this world that can fill that void in your heart. Except God.

I think I liked reading this a lot more this time because he just states that in the end of it all, we will all be in the same place. Whether rich or poor, wise or foolish, we will all die the same death and be put to the same judgement. Nothing of this world will go with us once we die. That really makes me think. Despite the world's claims about the need to get rich and "be happy," what really matters? Because in 50, 60, or if you're lucky, 80 years, you're going to die. And guess what? All that wealth you accumulated....worthless. Your job title...worthless. With that in mind, what should be doing instead? Perhaps be ministers for Christ in everything we do?

I'm not trying to say that every person who's a Christian needs to be a missionary in Africa for the rest of their lives. People can and should be in the working world in order to minister to those people (there are a lot of them in America) as well as support those who are called to professional ministry. Romans 12:6-8 says:

⁶We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. ⁷If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; ⁸if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Each person is called to a different aspect of the ministry. Some are called to serve, some teach, some to contribute. If you know God is calling you in one direction, however crazy it sounds to you, do it! Now back to Ecclesiastes.

Solomon goes through 12 chapters of talking about how meaningless life is and how we all end up the same. Yet he concludes with the most important point of the entire book.

¹³ Now all has been heard;

here is the conclusion of the matter:

Fear God and keep his commandments,

for this is the whole duty of man.

¹⁴ For God will bring every deed into judgment,

including every hidden thing,

whether it is good or evil.

It doesn't get much clearer than that. Fear God and keep his commandments. Got it. Now I just need to remind myself of that everyday. God is bigger and better than: myself, my stuff, what clothes I'm wearing, where I'm working, what I'm studying, USC football, etc. If reading Counterfeit Gods was any inclination, I have so many idols in my life it's disgusting.

Like I've said many times, life is so much better when you are in close community with God. Why I don't actively pursue that every day is beyond me. It's really dumb of me, that's for sure. Just like any other relationship, my relationship with God needs to be active. I want to hang out with God more. He is way better than anything I can experience from this world.

In other news, I've been in Hawaii for the last week and get back to the mainland tomorrow so (again, hopefully) expect more consistent blog posts. Writing these are a huge blessing to me, and hopefully they are for you too. Aloha!

How can anyone say there isn't a God? Waimea Bay

Back to School

Last week I moved back up to school with the intention of continuing to write semi-consistently. I knew that I wouldn't be able to write every day, but I was hoping for every other day or every third day. Boy, have I been wrong. After moving back in, a whirlwind of activity came up around me and now it has been over a week since I last wrote. This is ridiculous.

Not only that, but when I do find those brief moments where I could write, I don't know what to say. Donald Miller recently posted a blog about that: what to do when the well runs dry. That's what I feel like, that I have nothing good to say. I know God is teaching me things still, but they are harder to see amidst all the craziness of being back to school, with class, homework (yes, I'm doing homework. Who would've thought?), AGO, and CRU. Throw in wanting to see everyone again and catch up, My day gets booked up pretty quickly. But alas, I think one of the ways I can get out of this writers block is if I start writing. Therefore, I'm going to start talking about what has been happening in my life and what God has been teaching me, and we'll see where it goes.

First of all, I cannot believe I'm a senior. I can't believe that I have been at USC for three whole years now. It seems like yesterday I was just moving in to my dorm getting ready for band camp. People always say make the most of college because it goes by too quickly, and oh man how true that is. I think every year of your life it feels like it goes quicker. I'm really hoping against that because if that's true my life is gonna be a complete blur after 30.

It's weird for me to think that I'm the oldest person on campus. That my fellow seniors and I are the ones freshman look up to and think are ancient. Am I living the life I want to show the freshman? Honestly, I don't think so. My friend showed me a blog recently about how we can't store up "spirituality" and then coast for a while. No, it is a constant thing we need to do. We must pursue God every day. And it'll make life better. I know this last week my brief quiet times are some of the best times of my day. They are like God is saying "Nick, come to me and unwind. Let's get you refreshed." There is no one or nothing else that can refresh me like God can, and that is awesome.

That being said, I want more of that. I want more time with God, whether it be in quiet time, reading books, talking to friends, or meeting in a small group. I think why I loved this summer so much is the fact that nearly every time I talked to a friend, God was brought up. It's weird. I feel like God kind of goes out the window when we get back to school and are all together again. So for those of you who are at school, let's change that. We all talk about how we miss the community when we're not at school, but where is the true community AT school? Maybe this is just me, so if it is, just tell me to open my eyes and look around. But if you semi feel this way too, let's do something about it.

Since when did this become "community"and replace real interaction?

Ok, change of topic. last week at Reality LA, there was a guest pastor (whose name I forgot) spoke about peace. There were a couple of points that I really liked. First, he talked about a relational peace, and cites John 14:27:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Then the pastor said something that I had been thinking about recently but couldn't say so eloquently. He said: "we often come to Jesus for the blessings and not for Jesus himself."

Bam!

I wish he had pulled an Emeril and yelled BAM after that line. It is so choice. How often do we come to Jesus with a list of to-dos for Him right before bed? How often do we just sit, reflect on who He is, and let Him talk for a while?

Touche God.

I know where I am in that spectrum. I almost always just go with requests. I know this year I'm going to have a easy time getting stressed out. Maybe instead of going to God and asking to remove the stress once it comes, continually spend time with Him and let Him transform me. That way a) I get to spend time with my creator and b) there's a good chance I won't get stressed. That's a win-win.

Well I think that's enough random thoughts for now. Hopefully this weekend I can pump out a few more posts (and you can keep me accountable to that). But before I'm out, let me ask you this: how have you been doing back at school? What things have you been learning? And if you are able to, let's talk about this in person.

Psalm 73

I have been off with my blogging lately. I haven't blogged in a long time, and last time I did, it just didn't feel right. I don't know what's up with me. Maybe God is using this time to teach me things and transform me from the inside out, so I'm not to the "out" part yet and I need to spend more time on the consuming from the inside part.

Even so, I love sharing things with all of you, so I figured I would share a Psalm that a friend showed me a few weeks ago. It's choice, and I definitely had it apply to me a couple of times since then. I am so glad God knows what I'm going to need and prepares it for me. It's like He loves me more than I can ever imagine. Oh wait, He DOES love me truly unconditionally. He's awesome!

With that, here is what I want to share with you. Psalm 73. Boom.

Be sure to take note of verses 1-3, 13-14, and then 21-28. Ahh so good. Maybe I'll write about it a little later.

Surely God is good to Israel,

to those who are pure in heart.

² But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;

I had nearly lost my foothold.

³ For I envied the arrogant

when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

⁴ They have no struggles;

their bodies are healthy and strong.

⁵ They are free from the burdens common to man;

they are not plagued by human ills.

⁶ Therefore pride is their necklace;

they clothe themselves with violence.

⁷ From their callous hearts comes iniquity;

the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

⁸ They scoff, and speak with malice;

in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

⁹ Their mouths lay claim to heaven,

and their tongues take possession of the earth.

¹⁰ Therefore their people turn to them

and drink up waters in abundance.

¹¹ They say, "How can God know?

Does the Most High have knowledge?"

¹² This is what the wicked are like—

always carefree, they increase in wealth.

¹³ Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;

in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

¹⁴ All day long I have been plagued;

I have been punished every morning.

¹⁵ If I had said, "I will speak thus,"

I would have betrayed your children.

¹⁶ When I tried to understand all this,

it was oppressive to me

¹⁷ till I entered the sanctuary of God;

then I understood their final destiny.

¹⁸ Surely you place them on slippery ground;

you cast them down to ruin.

¹⁹ How suddenly are they destroyed,

completely swept away by terrors!

²⁰ As a dream when one awakes,

so when you arise, O Lord,

you will despise them as fantasies.

²¹ When my heart was grieved

and my spirit embittered,

²² I was senseless and ignorant;

I was a brute beast before you.

²³ Yet I am always with you;

you hold me by my right hand.

²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,

and afterward you will take me into glory.

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;

you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.

I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;

I will tell of all your deeds.

Ok I can't help it, I want to talk about this.

First, in verses 1-3, Asaph (the writer I assume) talks about nearly falling to envy of the wicked. I totally know that feeling. It's difficult sometimes seeing people who are clearly not following Christ being so prosperous and successful. It makes we want to ask God "Why do you let them become successful but you ask me to give up everything to You and potentially lose my life in a jungle in Africa?" This doesn't seem like a good trade-off.

Then he goes through and lists how arrogant the wicked are, and how they seemingly get away with anything they want.

¹³ Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;

in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

¹⁴ All day long I have been plagued;

I have been punished every morning.

I'll be honest, there have been times in my life where I feel like I'm doing this "God thing" in vain. But (this may get controversial) God isn't proclaiming a prosperity gospel. He's preaching a gospel of "give me your entire self and you're life will be better than anything you could imagine." Maybe not better in the world's standard, but in light of eternity, you know, the part that matters, it is way better. That's what the problem is. Once we become Christians and dedicate our lives to the Lord, we are still stuck in this world until we go to heaven. And the problem with that is this world and the eternal/spiritual world cannot be compared. One is full of sin and destruction and one is perfect. I need to stop comparing my life with God with the lives of people who are not with God. I need to focus on my life and walk with the Lord.

Now that doesn't mean that I shouldn't actively pursue the lives of others and share the good news with them. Instead, I shouldn't get jealous of what other people are experiencing but find joy in the Lord.

Then comes verse 17. wow. It's the epiphany verse. Verse 16 puts it in context.

¹⁶ When I tried to understand all this,

it was oppressive to me

¹⁷ till I entered the sanctuary of God;

then I understood their final destiny.

Once I put this life in context of being with God, everything makes sense. He is my portion and my pride. Everything I count as loss. It's like God is saying "once you really turn to me, all that other stuff that was making you jealous is nothing compared to my glory." God is good. He is better than anything and everything this world has to offer, which is all stuff God created and we ruined.

Like verses 23 and 24 say, God is always with us, right at our side, giving us counsel, waiting to take us into His glory.

Seriously verses 25-26 are just so perfect, and reading them makes me believe them even more and get excited about God. This is random, but don't you just love when God gives you that inexpressible joy that you know comes from nothing but Him. Yeah, definitely experiencing that right now and it's great.

I feel like all of the being "off" I experienced the last couple of days has evaporated, just going through this psalm slowly. He is my portion forever. Earth has nothing I desire besides Him. Praise the Lord!

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

Thanks for reading these posts and encouraging me to keep writing. You are all such a blessing to me and I am so thankful for having all of you in my life. A lot of my spiritual growth this summer stemmed from this blog, and conversations around these topics. Thank you.

Everything is fleeting

Last week, I was blessed with the opportunity to drive to Texas and visit 2 friends who are now living out there, which is also why there have been no posts for a while...my bad. I absolutely loved Texas, which completely surprised me. But what I enjoyed even more was getting to spend quality time with some of my closest friends. Needless to say it was a great week, from going to the best waterpark in the country to running across Texas stadium in the rain (epic, I know).

Imagine being in the center in the pouring rain

However, throughout the week, I did not have a lot of Christ-focused conversations like I have been having this summer. Not to say we just talked about bad things all the time, but rather we just didn't bring up Christ a lot. I've never noticed that before. The idea that everything is fleeting doesn't really connect to that, but it totally did in my head, so I am going to talk about it.

I've come to realize that even though I claim to place all my trust in the Lord, I totally don't. I put trust in friends, in money, in my accomplishments, in my skills, in my surroundings. Why do I do this? I know everything else is fleeting. I think sometimes its easier to put trust in things we see. But as Hebrews 11:1 tells us,

¹Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

I don't know about you, but I definitely need to work on my faith. I can't physically see God, but I know He's there. Sometimes I wonder if God made it this way so we have to rely on Him even more and can't even use our physical senses to experience Him. I feel like I'm going on a tangent here. Back to why I thought of this.

It's so easy to put our trust in things we see, but those things won't last. I was talking to a friend recently about this, and how even the things we hold most dear will pass away.The idea of friendships fleeting hit me this last week. I can hope for all my friendships from childhood and then from college will last forever, but inevitably, they won't. I mean, I'm not even done with college and I have fleeting friendships! If my hope is in those relationships, I'm going to be hurting a lot. But if I'm trusting in the Lord, I can rely on my rock, my Savior. Not to say that losing friends can suck a little, but God will bring us through it.

Here is a verse to bring home a point.

⁶ A voice says, "Cry out."

And I said, "What shall I cry?"

"All men are like grass,

and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.

⁷ The grass withers and the flowers fall,

because the breath of the LORD blows on them.

Surely the people are grass.

⁸ The grass withers and the flowers fall,

but the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:6-8

When the perfection of God is merely blown on us, we wither. And if we are God's most proud creation, imagine what everything else does when He blows on it. He needs to be the solid rock we stand on. We need to go through life knowing that things might be good, but that they won't last.

This even goes so far to include mission work. As of right now I planning on being a full-time missionary, so this hit home for me. It may seem like mission work isn't fleeting because it's pleasing to God. False. We won't be ministering to people in Heaven, or at least I don't think so. Ergo, mission work is fleeting. I think I need to tell myself over and over that everything is fleeting, except God.

I've noticed that in college it is very easy to rely on everything else beside God. You have a steady place to live, friends around you 24/7, a set schedule, great community, etc. Yet when you graduate, you notice how quickly all that stuff fades away. I haven't graduated yet, but I know people who have/are experiencing this. It's a growing process for sure, but wouldn't it be nicer to trust in the Lord when things are good and going well?

Unfortunately, that rarely happens because we are so quick to attribute success and enjoyment to things other than God. Then when the storm comes, we turn to Him. I don't know if it's our culture or our ridiculous excess of wealth, but something makes it easier for us to tune out God.

My prayer right now is that I can trust solely in Him, and that I can take everything else for what it is; fleeting. I want God to be my rock and my salvation. I think Psalm 62 says it best (Scripture usually says it best...It is the word of God)

¹ My soul finds rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from him.

² He alone is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Does your soul find rest in God alone? Is He your rock and your salvation?

I should clarify. I don't mean to say ignore everything else in your life except God. You can enjoy friends and family and success and all that jazz, just don't put your faith and hope in it. You have to remember that it can all go away, and if it did you'd be fine because you had placed all your trust in the Lord. A good question to ask yourself is how would you react to losing your closest friends or your job or your skills? Would it ruin you or could you move on?