Fresh Wind

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine told me I HAD to read Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala, and I am so grateful that I took her advice and read it. This book is super convicting, and not in a typical "here are three steps to improve your walk" christian book. This book focuses on one thing: prayer.

It's so simple, yet how many of us truly believe in the power of prayer and give up everything to God? I know I'm terrible at that. I feel like so much of my life right now I can take care of myself. I know how to do homework, go to Monday night dinner, and plan cru. While I may know how to do it, it won't be blessed the way God intends it to be.

I'll be honest, I'm really bad at making prayer a priority in my life. Thankfully this book was a good reminder of that and helped me realize just how much prayer matters. This is what Jim said to his faltering church one Sunday and hasn't looked back since:

From this day on, the prayer meeting will be the barometer of our church. What happens on Tuesday night will be the gauge by which we will judge success or failure because that will be the measure by which God blesses us.

Wow. That statement is so simple yet so profound. I'm not going to go anywhere just guessing where God is taking me and hoping for the best. I need to spend more time with the Lord in prayer.

I feel like sometimes I forget just how powerful prayer is and how much God blesses that. I want to lift up more of my life and the things I'm involved with to the Lord.

I've been quick to push out the Spirit moving in order to keep things orderly and efficient. I need to let God take the reins and see what He does. It'll probably be a lot better than whatever I plan.

Keep me accountable to these things please. Plus if we all make a culture of prayer I'm pretty confident God would start doing some awesome things here.

Needless to say, there is WAY more in this book than what I've talked about right here. I highly encourage you all to read it sometime. Expect to be challenged though. It's great.

Changing Seasons

The last few days in Los Angeles have been cold. And not an LA-72-degrees-and-cloudy cold. It has been straight up brisk. Highs have been the in 60s and lows in the 40s. This is not what I expect in Los Angeles. If I wanted sunny and "super cold" (as defined by southern Californians), I would've gone to Iowa or Michigan or some other Big Ten school. But I didn't; I went to the University of Southern California, otherwise known as the best school ever.

Nevertheless, this frigid weather got me thinking about seasons, and not just weather seasons, but spiritual seasons as well. God doesn't always coincide worldly seasons with my spiritual ones, but this time I think He did.

Over the summer, I was on a spiritual high. I had plenty of time to spend with the Lord and expand my spiritual knowledge. In addition, I was having a bunch of deep spiritual conversations with friends even though I was living in good ole' Fallbrook. When I got back to school, I thought this trend would continue...I think I forgot how busy I am during the school year, and so my God time began getting neglected. This, compounded with the transition into senior year, put me into a spiritual funk; a dry season if you will.

Dry seasons with God are never fun. You know (and are told) that God is always beside you and is working for your good, but you don't see it. I felt like I wasn't growing spiritually, and I definitely wasn't spending time with God because I lacked desire and motivation. I was getting frustrated easily, and became completely cynical about everything. If you had a good idea, I could probably give you 10 reasons why it was a bad idea and would fail. Yeah, not a good time for me.

I was so ready to get out of it, and so I was looking to the World Race as my escape. I was semi-regretting not applying for the January race so I could just graduate in December. But alas, God had bigger and better plans for me.

Last week, three things occurred.

1) The August race was revealed.

2) The weather got colder.

3) I actually had some free time.

God was ready to bring me out of my dry season. I got re-excited about the July race and the adventures God has in store for me in my future. I started spending more time with the Lord, and lo and behold, my attitude started getting better. Finally, with my extended free time, I was able to start reading again and just having time to process more.

God is so good. Despite me feeling like He was nowhere near me, He was definitely right there. It was my pride and selfishness that kept me from looking to Him. It's easy to be stoked on life when God is continually rocking you, but when you feel like He isn't around, you must keep speaking truth into your heart and the hearts of those around you. Don't let the devil convince you otherwise.

Lord, thank You for bringing me out of the dry season and into this new season of spiritual growth. You are so good to me, it is unfathomable. You are bigger and better than any dry season or trial that I could every face. Take my pride away from me, and mold my attitude. Thank you for always being with me, even if I'm not seeking You. In Jesus name, Amen

In other news, I'm reading a book called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire that is fantastic and really making me rethink the way I live my last semester here. Except a blog about it soon. Also, I submitted my world race application today so be expecting A LOT more blogs about that soon. Basically God is stirring in me again, and I want to share it with all of you.

I'll end with a question. What is God showing/teaching/growing you in your life right now? Are you going through a dry season or growing season?

Be Still

Be still and know that I am God

-Psalm 46:10

I have spent the last couple of months-actually nearly my entire life-doing; feeling like I have to be doing something. Thinking that there is something I need to do in order to get closer to God.

And there is something...Be still. That's it.

Lord, teach me to be still before you. I can't seem to stop going, but I want to be still with You. Please calm my life in such a way that I can listen to You. Amen

Be still and know that I am God

Stress Relief

It's amazing how even though I've heard it, known it, and even blogged about it, I still am fickle in my walk with the Lord and sometimes don't rely on Him. In the midst of everything I have to do on a daily basis, I forget to turn to God and say " I take your yoke." Last week, as you know, I went on Fall Retreat. It was a culmination of an extremely busy first 4 weeks, and so I was hoping that last week would be calmer and I could get back into the swing of things. But alas, I was still busy, still sick, and starting to feel burnt out. I even planned a long quiet time on Saturday to just spend time with the Lord. It was a great time, but come Monday when life got busy again, I was starting to get stressed out and burned out on my commitments. I just wanted to get away from everything for a while.

It wasn't until Tuesday night when I had 45 minutes to myself when I sat down with the Lord and said "I can't do it anymore. I need you. I want to be close to you again." And seriously, it was like God said "Finally. Now get some rest." and immediately I started feeling refreshed. Touché God. You are always there, waiting for us to come to You.

I need to stop forgetting about God's love and desire for me.

I pulled out My Utmost for His Highest and read the day's devotional. It was called "The 'Go' of unconditional identification" and the verse was Mark 10:21.

Jesus . . . said to him, ’One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor . . . and come, take up the cross, and follow Me’

Chambers says "Jesus’ primary consideration is my absolute annihilation of my right to myself and my identification with Him, which means having a relationship with Him in which there are no other relationships." (September 28th)

I need to give up everything to the Lord. Nothing I do is of myself. It is all His. I must stop trying to do things on my own and let Him take over. As Carrie Underwood said it well, "Jesus, take the wheel." I desire oneness with Him. All of my "busyness" must be given up to Him. I still have my commitments, but when they are on the Lord's shoulders and not my own, I won't be stressed, and I won't get burned out. Why do I always forget this again? Oh right, because I haven't been made perfect yet. Jesus, can you come back soon?

The other thing is that I started rereading The Pursuit of God with some guys in AGO, and it was a great reminder of how I need to desire God. I mean, once you start desiring Him, the passion just increases. The prayer at the end of chapter one is fantastic (like always), and it's a prayer asking for a desire to desire God. It has been a good prayer for me this week. I don't need to pursue God and Cru, or God and AGO, or God and my friends. I just need God. That's the only thing that matters. I need to follow hard after him.

Fall Retreat

Last weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to go to CRU fall retreat. It was an absolutely great weekend full of worship, sermons, outdoors, and of course, signs. I had the privilege of planning the weekend with Casey Hogue, and had a great time doing that, although that meant the weekend was a little hectic for us. In spite of not getting a ton of relaxation, sleep, or quiet time, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. In fact, I learned a good deal this weekend.

Adam Penning, the Cru director from University of Wisconsin, joined us for the weekend as our speaker. His theme was "the Center," and he gave great talks on attributes of Jesus. First, he went through the story of Mephibosheth and how David showed him hessed, loyal love. This love is the same kind of love that God has for us. He will always love us, no matter what we do.

On Saturday, Adam discussed the grandeur of God and the intimacy of God. God is bigger than anything we could every imagine. Jesus even claims his deity in John 8:58.

Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was born, I AM."

On the other hand, as Adam discussed Saturday night, Jesus is more personal than anything else we could imagine. He is one who sympathizes with us and one who we can follow for a right path.

Overall, It was a great set of talks. It was really nice hearing different attributes of God and how we can fit into His love. I was talking to a friend earlier this week about how we could hear these talks every week just to be reminded of how great God is. I definitely need that. It's so easy to forget the weight of the gospel when I'm more worried about studying for a quiz or sitting through a Monday night dinner. The gospel is the only thing that matters, and I don't live like that.

This brings me to Sunday morning of fall retreat. Adam talked about living sold out for Christ, whether in the ministry or in the workplace. There is no point in storing up treasures here on earth. All of that is not going to matter. What is going to matter is what Jesus says to us when we approach his throne and he says "My good and faithful servant" or "You fool! What were you doing with the gifts I gave you?" I know I don't want to hear God call me a fool. I want use the gifts God has given me. This definitely convicted me.

For those of you who don't know, I can graduate in December if I want to. I'll be done with my major requirements but I want to stick around and experience my entire senior year. That's great and all, but there is also this thing called the World Race that has a trip leaving in January with an awesome set of countries. Now I'm torn as to whether or not I want to stay at USC for an extra semester or leave for the World Race in January. On one hand, the World Race would be a great challenge but God would do crazy things in my life. On the other hand, sweet things are happening at USC that I would love to be a part of, but if I stay am I using the gifts God has given me?

If you asked me a few weeks ago what I was doing next semester, I would say sticking around USC, but that I really wanted to go on the World Race. However, after experiencing how I can be of use to CRU and AGO this last month, I feel more called to stay at USC for an extra semester and pour into the community here. These last few weeks have totally tired me out, but I have been loving it. So unless God completely changes my mind in the next 3 weeks, I will be sticking around USC in the spring.

That being said, there are two things that I've been thinking about today. First, after this tiring weekend, I have been listening to "Desert Song" by Hillsong. The first two verse and the chorus are so choice:

Verse 1:

This is my prayer in the desert

And all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in the hunger in me

My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved

Of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

Even when I feel dry or stressed out or in the middle of a trial, God is right there and is providing for me. He's not going to leave me, even if He feels a million miles away. And that gives me a reason to sing and bring praise.

Secondly, I read Psalm 62 today in my quiet time, and it is so applicable to my life all the time, but especially right now. It's a good reminder of what I need to put my trust in. The whole chapter is great, but I have been praying about verses 1,2, 11, and 12.

¹ My soul finds rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from him.

² He alone is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

¹¹ One thing God has spoken,

two things have I heard:

that you, O God, are strong,

¹² and that you, O Lord, are loving.

Surely you will reward each person

according to what he has done.